I will preface this with I know everyone has something to offer and no matter how young or new, I try to learn something from everyone. Having said that, at what point can a domina consider herself a teacher and presenter to the community? I am a little bit torn on this. A few lifestyle presentations and YouTube videos does not a mentor make. If one has only been a pro domme for a few months, should one teach a class?

I need to channel the great Ilsa Strix and Sabrina Belladonna, who got my overconfident, cheeky, dom-itis butt to sit back down and listen to the grown-ups talk. Every time I teach a class, I present my pedigree of domme education and why one should listen to me.

Or perhaps I am just cranky?

I think it’s common in many professions where you get new people entering who think they are hotshots after a year and think they know it all. In many of these cases these same people look back years later and realise how dumb clueless and obtuse they were.

I don’t think there’s a set number of years where you can call yourself or qualify to be a teacher or mentor because everyone is different but it takes some time for everyone.

Doesn't sound to me like your being cranky. Sounds more like appropriate skepticism of the growing fad of insta Dommes declaring themselves "experts" in all that is BDSM.

I think that anyone who is sincere in "learning" anything new, especially something as consequential as BDSM, should want to be instructed, lectured, mentored etc. by someone with the knowledge that only years of subject matter experience can provide.

People who are looking for a titillating conversation might be less discerning in who they take instruction from, but they will walk away knowing so much less than had they sought out a teacher with the best credentials. Yep! That would be you.

Ahh yeah, you are right. I forget most industries have their own form of "Domitus" and "Tops Disease." (I do cringe and my own cockiness from my first year.)


Stephanie Locke one said a domme needed 2000 session hours under her belt (about 4-5 years for a pretty active domme), which seems pretty arbitrary, but reasonable. Sometime in one's 4th year one really starts to hone one's instincts and flow. I will be approaching approximately 9000 hours sometime soon, though I don't have an exact number, just a guess.