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#17402 - 06/19/22 01:00 PM
Aftercare
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Veteran
Registered: 10/13/15
Posts: 1277
Loc: Atlanta, GA and Romania
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After all these years I recently decided to add the following question to My session request questionnaire: "Is aftercare important to you? If so, how much of the session time do you need devoted to aftercare?" I have been really surprised that almost everyone answers "no".
I've always taken a few minutes post session to let the sub come back to earth, chat a bit if they want - at a bare minimum. Sometimes it's obvious that the person isn't even able to drive, and a good bit of time is required to get them back into a headspace that lets them deal with the outside world.
So what are your thoughts on aftercare? Need it? Don't need it?
_________________________
Making grown men cry . . . and loving every minute of it. Main website: www.mistressayn.comContent site: www.aynrules.com Follow Me on Twitter - @MistressAyn
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#17404 - 06/19/22 01:49 PM
Re: Aftercare
[Re: Mistress Ayn]
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Regular
Registered: 06/22/16
Posts: 162
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Really interesting question. I’d probably answer “no” on a survey but in reality it depends on the session. Probably 70% of the time I’m fine, but there’s the other 30% where I find my self in a super deep head space and really need/appreciate 10 minutes or so to come back to earth. It’s just hard for me personally to know when I’ll need it in advance since most times I don’t need it.
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#17405 - 06/19/22 02:17 PM
Re: Aftercare
[Re: Mistress Ayn]
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Artisan
Registered: 06/16/19
Posts: 83
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Those few minutes to come back to earth and chat, often while getting dressed, I've always found really important. I guess they are sort of aftercare, but I don't really view them as such. I would not want to end a session with a domme just leaving the room and slamming the door shut.
I've done some intense, multi-day online/phone/text scenes that have involved findom and heavier psychological play than I'd ever experience in an RT session. The woman I do this with, who can play hard, always makes sure to leave a lot of time for aftercare, and also makes clear I can reach out to process things any time, and I appreciate that.
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#17406 - 06/19/22 09:18 PM
Re: Aftercare
[Re: Mistress Ayn]
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Regular
Registered: 10/19/15
Posts: 139
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Mistress Ayn, that's an interesting and important question and my compliments to you for adding it to your session request form.
Since the question is phrased, "how much of your session time should be devoted to aftercare" I am not surprised that 70% said it is not important. Guys will be very reluctant to voluntarily give up session time with you for any purpose, even one as well intentioned as this. Time with you is just too powerful and rewarding. We often think with the small head, even if it means we leave a session trying to remember our name!
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#17407 - 06/19/22 09:20 PM
Re: Aftercare
[Re: Mistress Ayn]
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Enthusiast
Registered: 08/15/19
Posts: 247
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I dont know if aftercare is the right word for me. But i enjoy talking after a session. It could be about the session, or just how things are going, etc. Id gladly give up some session time for this. Sometimes its 20minutes and others i pay to go out to dinner or a date etc. I get the impression I’m a little out of the ordinary in that regard but it works for me.
I have a very difficult just walking out the door.
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#17409 - 06/19/22 11:31 PM
Re: Aftercare
[Re: Spark]
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Addict
Registered: 10/20/15
Posts: 432
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I dont know if aftercare is the right word for me. But i enjoy talking after a session. It could be about the session, or just how things are going, etc. Id gladly give up some session time for this. Sometimes its 20minutes and others i pay to go out to dinner or a date etc. I get the impression I’m a little out of the ordinary in that regard but it works for me.
I have a very difficult just walking out the door. Maybe not that out of the ordinary. I am like that.
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#17412 - 06/20/22 09:41 AM
Re: Aftercare
[Re: Mistress Ayn]
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Member
Registered: 09/09/21
Posts: 19
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No and yes. No I don't think it's necessary on a first time questionnaire, I would not play heavy enough to need it. Now if I came back and played heavy then yes we will have discussed my operators manual.
Although since I would be wandering around mumbling incoherently and bleeding, what I need is really more aftersupervison and first aid. LMAO
Edited by zxpTcEtc (06/20/22 09:44 AM)
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#17413 - 06/20/22 11:30 AM
Re: Aftercare
[Re: Mistress Ayn]
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Occasional
Registered: 10/19/15
Posts: 38
Loc: Southern U.S.
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Mistress Ayn,
For me, it really depends on the nature of the session. If the play is lighter and more casual, a few minutes chatting seems to do the trick.
In the case of really sadistic, emotionally-deep sessions, the need for prolonged aftercare goes up substantially.
Intense whipping & judicial-style corporal scenes can leave me in a trance...and the need to come back down to earth slowly is a premium.
My fondest memory was about 20 years ago: after a rather intense session, the Domme took me in Her arms and gently laid me down, in an image reminiscent of the Pieta, and gently nurtured me back to the vanilla world.
Aftercare is vital.
_________________________
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#17415 - 06/21/22 05:02 AM
Re: Aftercare
[Re: Mistress Ayn]
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Regular
Registered: 06/12/19
Posts: 102
Loc: Pensacola, FL
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After all these years I recently decided to add the following question to My session request questionnaire: "Is aftercare important to you? If so, how much of the session time do you need devoted to aftercare?" I have been really surprised that almost everyone answers "no".
I've always taken a few minutes post session to let the sub come back to earth, chat a bit if they want - at a bare minimum. Sometimes it's obvious that the person isn't even able to drive, and a good bit of time is required to get them back into a headspace that lets them deal with the outside world.
So what are your thoughts on aftercare? Need it? Don't need it? Mistress Ann, I've always wondered if rubbing salt in my slave's post session wounds, counts as aftercare?
_________________________
The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me.
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#17417 - 06/21/22 09:54 AM
Re: Aftercare
[Re: Mistress Ayn]
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Regular
Registered: 04/27/21
Posts: 147
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In my experience, aftercare has been all about the level of intensity and the nature of the encounter. There have been times where aftercare, being sharing time and nurturing, has been vital. Other times, people are refreshed and ready to get back to vanilla life. I'm always happy to provide aftercare. As a switch, I've seen that it can make a difference when needed.
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