Hi Everyone! I always wonder if it would be too much of a risk to have a forum for just Dommes to post potentially dangerous clients without them having access. As I'm all too familiar, when you "call someone out" for their bad behavior there can be repercussions. What do we think about having a thread for that here?

Personally I think it's a great idea, however, it only works if every domme in here is impartial and keeps anything shared here confidential.

I say this because years ago I had a long time sub (almost 4 years) become absolutely problematic (stalking, putting fake ads about me, leaving fake reviews up to mess with my tours, etc., simply because I cancelled a session over a health emergency and had offered a rain check date. He had domme friends on maxfisch, he told one lady about how I was "a bitch" and she rolled with it because in her eyes I was a bitch simply because he hadn't mistreated her. Meanwhile this man would personally sit across the street from my studio for hours telling me what I wore that day. He was good in her eyes while creating havoc for me. Anything I would've shared in a domme forum about him would've inevitably made it back to him, creating even more danger for me in what was already a truly horrible situation where my safety was absolutely at risk.


I share that simply to make the point that blacklists work if everyone has the integrity to keep things here, here.


That means having an open mind and realizing that someone that has sessioned with one person or is internet friends with a sub might not fully be aware of how that same sub is behaving with others. After all, a blacklist's point is safety and that requires the safety to share in confidentiality and also to know that it won't get back to said sub and have the chance to create what can potentially become a dangerous situation for the domme that shares about her experience being wronged.

Let's do it!

I have to agree that it would be really useful...

IF we are all on board with a version of integrity and confidentiality. And there's difference between blacklisting someone who is truly dangerous vs someone who is just flakey or annoying.

This would be helpful. My biggest concerns/questions are:

What is the reality of being able to keep the board completely limited {secret} to FemDoms on this forum?

What would the parameters of danger be? Do you think those parameters would have to be something we {FemDoms on the site} all agreed on to make it happen on this forum?

I'm just thinking about how blacklists could essentially be used as a SWer review-of-clients board. As Madam Jess alluded to someone's ideas of danger could be perceived as problematic or simply annoying to someone else.

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A globally-accessible blacklist is something I've wanted to start for years. I realize that I'm vulnerable because I'm in Philadelphia and the guy from the Bay Area may actually be blacklisted and I don't know because we generally don't talk to one another outside of our respective cities -- if even *that* happens.

Where I got caught up was with the logistics of maintaining a private space where everyone agrees on what is "blacklistable" and then having integrity about reporting people.

The unfortunate reality is that some Dommes are not good people. And it's those people that I'm torn about keeping off the blacklist forum. But then if those people are not allowed word will eventually get to them and then it could be a nightmare.

So, if it's done it has to be done very carefully and by 100% vetted , emotionally mature Dommes. This will be a project. As much as I'm interested in it I don't know if I have the capacity to take that on. I have learned just from the BDSM Professionals website that people can be surprisingly unprofessional, childish, and unreliable.

I have mixed feelings about this. What is the definition of a client in how he is blacklisted? I last encountered an actual dangerous client 10 years ago while visiting New York. I can't remember his name, but he referenced a client review of someone else claiming to be him. I got a strange feeling, and Google searched his number and found a lot of real problems.

There is a chat group here with "Black list clients," and it's useless. It's just a list of numbers of guys who wasted time and screenshots of Dommes being "sassy" with guys who maybe asked for something inappropriate. I suggested taking their numbers off their ads and asking for deposits, and I was shut down. I find the group chat more wasteful of my time than wankers.

Perhaps it's more productive to talk about effective screening procedures. What do you think?

I do like the idea of leaving screening tips for Dommes vs a blacklist of clients. This puts the ownership back on the provider to determine their policies and expectations. It also gives them an opportunity to pick and choose what tips to take or leave.

As multiple Dommes have already mentioned someone's blacklist-worthy offense may not be offensive to others. Defining dangerous vs problematic vs aggravating behavior is going to be different for everyone and likely impossible for all to agree on. I could also imagine sifting through a forum to find info would be time-consuming.

A project that I had while with SWOP Atlanta and now with my own NP was a "broadcast" system announcing violent offenses. In these cases, the violent offense is specifically defined as physical assault, use of weapon, coercion, or theft-- providers completed a a form, and those who signed up to receive the info would get an email/text "broadcast"... Same concept, different angle.

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